Dreaming

Are we blind? What I means is, are we oblivious to the signs around us? Assuming for a moment that there is a place for us, that our personalities, idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes, desires and talents, aren't just a result of our social upbringing. Assuming that there is a place where we fit in best and it is up to us to find it, are we blind to the signs that help guide us there? The more I find out about myself the more I find that the life I live really isn't suited for me and I ponder, sometimes more seriously than others, packing up my things and trying to find the world where I belong. I look for exceptance and find none. I look for love and find none. I look for friendship and find very little. I look for hope and am stifled. Am I blind? Is this god's way of telling me that there is somewhere else for me. Maybe there isn't. Maybe I am only dreaming like a child. But I suppose that is what you hold on to when that is all one has left in this world of ours.

Comments

[Kristina]

You say I look for exceptance and find none. I look for love and find none. I look for friendship and find very little. I look for hope and am stifled.

I am sad. I am sorry you do not feel acceptance, sorry you do not find love, sorry you do not find friendship, and sorry about the loss of hope.

I cannot relate and feel bad for you. I feel accepted, and loved, and friends (now but not previously in life) and I feel very full of hope.

Dream because all of those things are out there for you, available to you.

[Amanda]

This may be way off but sometimes I wonder if we are even supposed to feel this acceptance. I am sure we aren't supposed to feel miserable all the time but if we felt completely at home and completely loved and we were not lacking in any area of any sort of relationship, why would we need to put our hope in something or someone or some place bigger? I think there is something in everyone that aches for something bigger and better. And I think it is ok to feel like that because it is how we were wired... knowing that bigger and better exists somewhere and at some point we will get to taste it.

[Kristina]

In regards to Amanda's comment: Part of my feeling accepted, loved, friendship and hope is due to my relationship with God. I don't think you are off at all on your comment. I do not feel lacking in any of those area's, however some of those area's are being fulfilled by a greater being, by God.

[Unregulated Female]

I get your search for meaning and the "where do I belong" thing. I still struggle with that very issue today. Somehow, I just keep trying new things and let it unfold. Thomas Merton said to "follow the ecstasy" in regards to life: look for the life, joy, and a place where you can connect. That is what I am trying to do: still searching, still following the ecstacy.

Let's do coffee soon!