Today has left me so numb. I can't feel anything tonight. It's something like sadness or loneliness but more like hitting the ground after falling down the steps. Your just shocked and numb. You are alive, but you don't feel anything your world just came down on you and you hit every step on the way down. You know that it will hurt later and you will need time to heel and you will need someone to help you. But now you are numb. Now you are empty. Now, right now, you want your world to stop turning around. I am tired tonight. I am physically tired. I am also tired of uncontrollably putting myself on the line in places that I am not wanted or understood. It is like an addiction and like addictions, it has left me numb.