No Fear in Love

A movie is coming out soon.  A movie that, as things stand, is the only movie I've ever anticipated with both a sense of fear and hopeful anticipation.  Even the previews to the film cut me deeply.  You can check it out here.

One of my favorite actors of all time, Don Cheadle, says these lines in the preview,

"It's the sense of touch.  I think we miss that sense of touch so much that we crash into each other just to feel something".

I think that he is right.  I think we are afraid of each other.  Just like all other things that are divine and  teeter on the edge of destruction at the same time that it makes one free, it has been used to hurt.  So we avoid life so that we do not run the risk of destroying it.  But life dies when it sits in the shadows for too long.   

Sometimes Art beckons us back to the land of the living.  It screams at us and digs at us like a defibrillator for the soul.  "Wake Up! Come Alive! Life Is Upon You!"  It calls us to reach reach out and drink from the mysterious fountain that lies behind and beneath all good art.   

But I think that we have failed each other.  That those of us with ears to hear have not listened.  God has spoken and we have become deaf to her voice because we are okay with wallowing in our fear and are too numb to know the difference.  We shake hands instead of embracing.  We sit across the room instead of next to each other.  We have our personal space and we don't want anyone inside it and we will keep others out at almost any cost, and we won't go near other people's space.  We can't live together anymore we must live across from each other instead.  Only a few feet from life and yet they might as well be an eternity away.

Friendships have all turned into casual acquaintances because we are terrified to get close to each other.  No hugs, no tears, only good times and back biting.  A punch in the shoulder or a insincere compliment meant to take the place of genuine human intimacy.  To the point that no one knows us and we don't know them.  We are safe, and dying.

I know why lovers are so happy.  Every touch, every look, every kiss a moment incandescent glorious unity that could never be bought, sold, or faked, only shared.  The joy of knowing there is no space between you and that you are free to be together, to share one another.  The dalliance of two lovers calling to each other, letting them know that they are favorable and invited.  I think that in the moment when lovers embrace this way that the purpose of Art has been fulfilled, indeed, all of heaven rejoices and our God, whatever her way is, smiles upon us. 

I remember times like that.  They are distant in my memory and I hold them close until love overcomes fear in and around me again. 

I heard once that there is no fear in love, and I believe that everywhere that love exists people are alive. 

But how many obstacles have we built to keep us away from each other.  The rich buy large houses with rooms nobody lives in.  Big yards that tell the world around us that we don't want them close to us.  If we can't get away from people then we will assert ourselves enough to let people know that they are not welcome here.  Violence, power, money, anger, shame, televisions, corporations, institutions, buildings, cell phones, expensive cars, are all our ardent attempts to keep each other a distance where they are containable, controllable, and are no longer a threat to us.

What will it take for us to overcome the distance?  So that we no longer have to crash into each other, just to feel something.

Comments

[matt]

Great post. You are quite the writer, and your wisdom is raw and robust. Just like I remember you.

That movie looks brilliant.

[Kelly]

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I'm glad I stumbled onto the site. God bless you.

[Aaron]

Adam, never forget that "art saves lives." That will be my last OBU quote ever.

[zalm]

i know nothing about crash and haven't yet clicked on the link. but if the previews alone can inspire a post like this, i'm so there.

there's so much raw truth here that i don't really know where to start. so i'll just say thanks, adam.

i'm flagging this one in my newsreader, because this is the kind of thing i need to read over and over.

"only a few feet from life." wow.

[Kristen]

Your blog has been fantastic lately, Adam. I really enjoy coming here to read.

[rose]

Interesting title. No Fear in Love. Hmmm... I wish that were the case. Good post.

[Adam]

Rose,
Could you clarify what you mean?

[rose]

Well, I am absolutely terrified by love. I have a really hard time getting close to people. I have tons of "friends" but not people I share things with really. Maybe I could say it is because I had an absolutly crappy family life, or that I changed schools so many times. I don't know. Whatever it is...I almost have an inability to love. You love..and then you get hurt..I don't like the hurt. It scares me. K..I will clarify more if you want..but that takes some deep prodding into my soul. :)

[joyrhino]

"But how many obstacles have we built to keep us away from each other. The rich buy large houses with rooms nobody lives in. Big yards that tell the world around us that we don't want them close to us. If we can't get away from people then we will assert ourselves enough to let people know that they are not welcome here. Violence, power, money, anger, shame, televisions, corporations, institutions, buildings, cell phones, expensive cars, are all our ardent attempts to keep each other a distance where they are containable, controllable, and are no longer a threat to us."

Hmmm...so where do personal computers and blogs fit into this? Do they keep us apart or bring us together?

[Adam]

joyrhino,
Good questions. I've known some people that withdraw to their cyberspace surogates instead of interact with real people. Although I think that Bloggin is bit different, especially when it isn't obsessed about. It has been a great avenue for me to keep in touch with people I couldn't otherwise and it is also a safe way for me to bounce myself off of other people. It's sort of a quest to "know thyself" although I'm sure there is more goin on than just that.

Rose,
I'll drop you an email about it. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. But I think you hit on a good point that I second, that there is fear in love for us. Possibly because we don't know how to love, or love back.

[Jason]

So many thoughts, so few words to describe them...

* The American dream of owning your own home is the ultimate statement in independence. Quality nations are built on the premise of interdependence...

* No fear in love... Aaahhh, well... there is great fear in love, because to love is believe and trust that you can lay the wounds of heart and soul before someone and they will take care and soothe them as best they know how. Love is intoxicating precisely for the reason that it is a fear that can be overcome through the power of peaceful interaction, hope, trust, and care and resepct for one another. How many other things in this world are peaceful or hopeful?

* Touch, yes, we fear touch. It is the most basic of interactions, a handshake, a hug, a pat on the back are things to fear in a litigious society. They are also things to fear in a society where abuse and codependency is mistaken for love. Touch is the most important thing we can do to help people know they are accepted, it is a vulnerable place to be, and that is why it is also a way to abuse people

good post

grace and peace

[Unregulated Female]

Adam- I think this is possibly one of the best pieces I have read in awhile. Absolutely briliant and evocative. Unfortunately true community/communion w/ others can be scarce, but think of the pricelessness of it when you do have it - having the opportunity. Connecting w/ another soul and growing together is fundemental to our own life's meaning. My life is so much more rich and wonderful because of the very thing you state: relationships.

Keep reaching out. Being vulnerable causes a reaction in others to want to be the same as well. Yes, the opportunity to be burned is possible but think of all of the other possibilities of sharing the real you with others. Today, I am thankful for you.