The Pub

Modern Day Prophet

I got a phone call from a pastor friend this morning.  The conversation wasn't all that exciting but we did have a small, yet interesting,  conversation about what a modern day prophet might sound like.  We decided on something like this,

What are you doing?!  You motherfuckers are fucking everything up!  The earth looks like shit.  Deforestation, global warming, pollution, and your just skipping around like "all of this will last forever, we don't need to exercises environmental responsibility"  Well your wrong!  Quit It! God is not pleased!  She's Pissed! PISSED!

Also, if you haven't noticed people are still poor and hungry and your living in nice houses with nice cars but you can't spare the 14.95 a month you spend on net flicks to feed one of the kids on your 46" TV.  You think they dressed up the neighbors kids and wiped shit on their faces and made them eat garbage on air so they could con you out of  your money.  Wrong again! They really are hungry.  Quit being such a tight ass and open up your wallet a little bit so they can eat!

Now this one is HUGE!  Remember when Jesus said "turn the other cheek"?  Hummmm? Do you? Well he wasn't making that up for shits and giggles!  When he said it, he meant it.  Turning the other cheek doesn't mean support governments who bomb the shit out of people.  What's implied in "Turn the other cheek" is "Don't kill them, or anyone else".  GOT THAT!  Yes, I mean you too Texas.

Now there you go, there is plenty there for you to work on.  I would give you more but you don't seem to be able to handle this little bit yet.  God is not happy.  She mourns you daily because your too damn blind to see past your own self-ish fear and greed.  WAKE THE FUCK UP!  The kingdom of God doesn't include tax cuts for the rich, beating your wife, emotionally manipulating your children, or moving out of your neighborhood because "DAMN IT, all those Blacks and Arabs are driving down the property values". 

Stop praising God with your mouths and telling her to go fuck herself with your actions!
May God have mercy on you all. 

Or something similar.

Bushes Real Agenda! Hilarious!

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.  After your finished watching the video you can write your own speech here if you so desire.

Selling Jesus

There has been a lot of talk recently about churches marketing themselves as business instead of the organic body of Christ.  I am wholey unsuprised by this fact but here is my brief take on it.

The idea is this: Start with the solution and then market the problem. It’s why I always had a problem with door to door evangelism and marketing your particular institution (regardless of religious views). It is an attempt to create a need in someone that doesn’t already exist. Knife salesman try to get you to believe you need some new knifes, theirs to be specific. But it is so artificial. If the person needed some knives they would have bought some damn knives. These sort of create and solve systems are enticing because they have answers for every question. Real life doesn’t offer such comforts. Unfortunately.

sinking

I tried very hard to get into the Easter season.  I tried to be happy about the Resurrection and I even went to an Easter church service.  I just couldn't do it.  I'm getting sort of tired of hearing about church and ranting and raving about how screwed up the Southern Baptists are and how much I hate popular Christianity.  Nobody on the other side cares.  It seems alot like a partisan race where both sides are slamming on each other and caricaturing the "other" to try to sway the undecided voters.  Cause really, there the only ones listening anyhow.  But most of them don't care either which is the reason they are undecided.  So I'm tired of blogging about the church for now.  I may change my mind tomorrow, but today I'm sick of it.

I'm starting to believe that the church as Christ envisioned it is becoming extinct to me.  I only see it every now and again, not enough to ever think that the Gods Kingdom is "coming on earth as it is in heaven".  I'm tired of that.  I'm tired of being unhappy.  I'm tired of shallow people that don't give a shit about each other.  I'm surrounded by them all the time.  I don't blame them, thats how we are supposed to do it in our culture.  Gotta look out for number one! 

When I was in elementary and middle school I became friends with some twins (guys) that became some of my closest friends, at least I thought so anyway.  They were always partying and having a good time but they were likable and under the surface they did care of about people alot.  As we got older they got mixed up in a lot of drugs and were in and out of school for fighting.  One of them has been to prison a couple of times for robbing people to support his habbit.  I hadn't scene them for a while and the other night a good friend of mine informed me that the other one (the one that wasn't robbing and going to jail) died of a drug overdose a little over a week ago.  Their mom and sister are really religious people that attend Rhema (Freaking huge Charismatic church).  As a result their mother tried very hard to control them and they rebelled hard against that and now one of them is gone.  But I'm sure it was just Satan attacking her child or some other supernatural, easy to explain cause that shirks their responsibility to love and take care of each other.  I'm not blaming the parents, I'm just saying that the "church" has been around them there whole life and never added one beneficial thing to their Life.  That sucks. 

More than anything I'm sad.  I'm tired of people loving me for all the wrong reasons.  I'm tired of never seeing the "Kingdom on earth" and I'm saddened that Resurrection Sunday didn't mean jack to me this year.  Maybe I'll go buy something, seems to make people happy for a little while at least.  Perhaps the best we can do are band-aids.

Misc. and a Bomb!

I have lots of small things on my mind right now so I'm going to hold off on posting about long issues.

I plan on posting about Substitutionary atonement in the near future.  It is coming folks but I haven't had time to work out the details so it will have to wait. 

Got together with an amazing group of people last night to talk about life and just kick it.  My good friend Josh came and really surprised me at how much promise he is showing in becoming a meaningful person.  Thanks guys and girl.  I've been needing that recently.

I feel I need to make a few clarifying remarks about the "If I post a comment on  your blog I expect a reply".  This wasn't meant for anyone that has taken it personally up to this point.  I'm sorry that it came across this way.  It was more directed towards one individual (although, generally speaking, replies are nice if they are merited) and it was meant more in jest.  Although lots of my jesting has some truthing to it as well.  Meg, I'm dropping you an email about this.

I'm working on putting up some pictures.  I've found that I really enjoying seeing what people look like whom I am discussing with.  I'm also enjoying the pod-casting that is going on at a few different places I visit.  The voices make everything a lot more personal I think.  Plus, I'm sure all of the single available smart young woman that stop by are dying to see how incredibly attractive I am, or not.  Okay probably not but the stuff about being more personal before that is true.

Now for the bomb.  There has been some ridiculous things going on at my Alma Matter (sp)  and this little ditty from Oklahoma Baptist University is one of the more recent ones.  This along with the President and administration turn it in to a brain dead Southern Baptist academic joke has given me reason to never recommend this school to anyone ever again.  Don't go there, don't send your kids there, and for God's sake DON'T SEND THEM YOUR MONEY!  That is all for now. 

Grace and Peace to you on this Good Friday.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

This is priceless.  First you've got to read this.  It reminds me a lot of when I was a little kid and I thought I was going to start my own kid band with my friends by imitating New Kids on the Block or when I thought I would raise millions of dollars by selling lemonade.  The whole posts sounds like a little boys imagination running wild. 

Anyway, now on to how this relates to my post.  I was driving around the other day and some people were on the corner advertising "Free Car Wash and Dog Dip".  Of course, these things are never free but I decided 5 or 10 bucks to get a hand job, oops, I mean hand wash (silly me) and get my dog washed wasn't bad.  So I pulled in. As some women began washing my dog I asked them what they were raising money for and they said they weren't.  What!?  No, they were from First Baptist Broken Arrow and they were "Out in the community letting people know they cared".  Needless to say my immediate thought was that there is much better ways to let people know you care than washing someones stinky ass dog.  But hey, too late to say no now.  Even so, I still thought it was nice that they were trying to just do something for their community.  OH GOD, HOW WRONG I WAS!

While I was there they had me fill out a card with my name and address, etc.  I thought they would send me something in the mail.  Which didn't bother me because I already get their shitty mail at home because my dad is a member there, and evidently I'm still on there roster from when I was in the youth group 5 years ago. 

So this morning the phone rings and wakes me up.  I answer it in my best "This better be good" morning voice and there is a delayed response on the other end.  I almost hung up thinking it was a tele-marketer but then the voice comes on.  "Please stay on the line for an important message from First Baptist Church Broken Arrow".  These motherfuckers don't even take the time to call people anymore, they send out a mass automated phone message so they don't have to listen to their Parishioners voices.  We're not even worth a live phone call?  Fuck!  I think I'll go cut myself now.  Anyway, the Pastors voice chimes in and says "We've gotten the information of over 500 hundred people in our community and this Saturday we will be meeting at the property and using it as our headquarters (can't remember what term he used) to go out into the community and contact all of these people so that we can . . ."  You would hope something like this would follow, "let them know we aren't just here on the weekends to wash their dog, but whenever they are in need" or something similar.  We're not that lucky, " so that we can GET THEM TO OUR CHURCH!".  I'm not kidding.  This whole shibang was to up the attendance numbers.  We've scratched your back, now you scratch ours.  This is how the new Great Awakening is going to happen?  Dog Washing!  I can see the hand of God all over this.  Can't you?

When I read the article I knew that they were related.  I take solice in reading some of these disturbing articles because they don't often directly affect me.  But not this one, this one woke me up from a peaceful sleep.  Not even my worst nightmare would justify waking up to that.

Flowers and Life!

I was going to post about substitutionary atonement this time but I've had a bad day and I'm not feeling very morbid-bloodthirsty-wrathful-appeasementy right now.  So I will post about something else. 

The weather in my town has been depressing for the last few days.  I'm needing some sunlight soon or I'm going to have to climb into a tanning bed to get a dose of UV rays. 

The first big storm hit the other night.  It was late, I was feeling a bit down, and the storm came in.  Story book really, especially since I just finished watching some movie where everyone treated everyone else like shit.  When I got up the next morning I walked out of the house to my car and the wind had blown so hard that yard signs had been ripped up out of the ground and thrown down the street.  There were little white flower buds all over my car and I thought I to myself, "Great, even the new signs of life are getting destroyed now".  Then I looked over and saw our tree in the front yard where all of the buds had come from and I saw that they were not flower buds but they were buds from freshly sprouting leaves.  The tree stood there all glorious and strong as if it were giving the big F-YOU to the storm.  The hundreds of buds on my car looked overwhelming at first until I saw the hundreds of thousands of buds coming from the strong limbs of this tree.  In that moment it was as if the tree spoke to me saying, "It may take time, but take heart, life is coming". 

I needed that reminder.  Life has been difficult recently as I've been searching for places that I feel valued.  I did have a wonderful talk with my mother that was some much needed light on a stagnant relationship.  But she is also going through many struggles these days and I hope so badly that life happens for her as well. 

For all of you, I hope this Spring brings you hope for new life and that the things that have been dead might come alive again.  Maybe, just maybe the Kingdom will poke its lovely head out and comfort us, especially during this Easter season.  Grace and Peace to you all. 

"Come alive, for your Life is coming" - Jurgen Moltmann

STOP CHEWING SO LOUD!

It's time for some pet peeves ladies and gents.  I have run across a couple in the last day or so that I wish to share.

1) People that have blogs that don't respond to your comments on THEIR blog.  Do you people think that you are just so fantastic that people will read every single one of your posts and think "Wow, that was so profound I'm left utterly speechless."? Well, your wrong.  If I write something to you, it means I wish to have a response (most of the time).  Now if you don't have comments available on your site that is one thing.  If you do and you don't respond, you need help because you are only trying to stimulate your already over sized ego.  I hate you. . .just kidding. . . okay half kidding. . . nope, no I'm serious.

2) "Prayer Preaching" = the act in which one espouses their own little homiletic in the form of a prayer.  No real person prays this way.  If you have something to say, say it.  If not, just fucking pray.  Don't know what I'm talking about, here let me give you an example. 

Me: But I think substitutionary atonement is sickening and makes God into a monster

Fundy Evang: Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree, lets pray.

Me: Okay sounds nice

Fundy Evang: "Dear Savior, thank you for dying on the cross for us (me).  Thank you that you are a God that saw us in our sins and instead of pouring your wrath upon us you sent your son to suffer your wrath for us.  Thank you for Jesus who died to take the place of my sins.  We (I) pray these things your name. Amen!" 

Is it any clearer now?  It doesn't have to be this blatant, but I think you know what I'm getting at.

3) Having a job that isn't paying you shit to do work that is boring and making somebody on the top very very rich.  If they wanted they could pay everyone here (I mean there) triple and still make a nice profit.  But NOOOOOO!  Let's not just punch him down, why don't we stick a catheter in him and put the other end in his mouth while we are at it. 

4) Attention would be Christian Worship Song Writers.  Thinking up as many pop-christian cliches as you can and cramming them together with a catchy three-chord tune doesn't make it good, or make sense.  It's irresponsible, uncreative, and excruciating to someone that uses their brain on a regular bases.  I propose that, from this time forward, whoever does this should be given an Enema every morning for the rest of their pathetic lives.  That way they will get just a little taste of the suffering they are causing the rest of the created order.

5) People who sound like they are chewing with their mouths open and then you look and its closed. That's disgusting!  Can't you get a muzzle for that or something?

That's all for now.  I've been meaning to put up my pet peeves for a while now, but keep forgetting.  Which brings me to number 6:  Forgetting. 

A Glimpse Into my Issues!

A very kind person has recently taken an interest into why I'm no longer going to church.  I have sent a couple of emails to them and as I was reading what I wrote I thought the readers here might find it a bit enlightening as to why I feel the way that I do about church.  I will post both of my responses to this persons emails.  (I apologize for the numerous spelling and grammatical errors, I was in a hurry and I've never been good at it anyway)

Response #1

In a nut shell, I grew up Southern Baptist.  Between the politics and
dogmatism of the institutional church and my broken family I didn't
have much of a community of reference.  I went to college and became a
Philosophy major, which meant that I got used to asking questions and
had some real break though's in some ideological issues I was having.
Studying philosophy (and minoring in bible) I thought that asking
questions was the best way to keep the discussion going.  Whenever I
would visit a church I found that they weren't so much interested in
having a conversation as much as they wanted "me" to learn something
from "them".  I don't typically talk this way but the people that
wanted to teach me were usually a whole lot more ignorant and
under-educated than myself.  I found that being part of that community
meant submitting to whatever hierarchical structure was set up there.
I found this to be harmful to community and not helpful.  Life as I
think Jesus desired us to have looks a whole lot more eqalitarian and
reconciliatory than did these institutions that I was walking into.  I
was never beliggerant or hateful but I was not welcomed if I asked
questions.  "Church" had been turned into a system that you had to
come in at the bottom and work politically to the top.  Money handling
looks more like businesses than charity and marketing schemes and
self-help books took the place of genuine relationships.  A friend
wrote a good series of articles called "Size Matters" at this website
http://theparish.typepad.com this is how I see the church and it
doesn't involve large crowds or building or organs or pulpits or
performances or someone standing in the middle of a platform telling
me what to believe.  The whole thing seems artificial and affected.
So I decided to stop going.  I would rather sleep in then go somewhere
to be talked down to, listen to bad music, and pretend that my
"relationship" with Jesus actually means something because I'm
involved in a bible study.  "Personal Relationship" with Jesus has
become a poor substitute for us living together. 

Response#2 More of a question and answer session

Now when you have visited these churches were they mostly main stream
denominational churches or where they more like bible study atmosphere
settings?

Most of the churches that I have visited have been mainline
denominations.  Even the non-denominational one (which I consider to
be a denomination) fall into my category of institutional.  I have
been invited to smaller gathering from time to time but they were
usually shallow and digressed quickly into emoting sessions.  I really
enjoy the more liturgical churches when I go but they seem so distant
from me.  So unfamiliar as if I'm entering a different world
altogether.  A beatiful world, yet one that I strangely feel like I
don't and can't belong to.

Was the church's demographics broad or pretty much the same types of people
(i.e. white families with kids)?

Demographics were definately not broad.  Usually white, middle class,
republicans with two or three kids, stable jobs, mini-vans, etc.
Definately not a place where a poor person or any other "other" person
would feel comfortable.

Besides not being able to ask questions, in your experience what did
you find to be most frustrating?

One of the things I found to be most frustrating was the immense
amount of apathy that you could see spread all-over peoples faces.  As
if they had learned how to control God inside of their boxes and were
not being challenged to face a world larger than their self-help,
suburbian lifestyles.  Morality was boiled down to no smoking,
cursing, or pre-marital sex.  And their largest social agenda was
stopping the gays.  The evangelical categories turned people into
worthless objects wherein as long as they agreed (a.k.a were saved)
then the only thing that mattered was taken care of.  So aid to dying
children in S. Africa wasn't necessary, we needed to get those damn
heathen saved.  Bllllaaakkkk!

What would you consider to be your ideal church?

Wow, I'm not really sure.  The posts I referred you to say it much
better than I can.  But it wouldn't have walls or doors.  It would be
small (although connected to many many other communities).  A group of
people committed to living life together.  A life of reconciliation,
truth telling, accountability, encouragement, sacrificial giving,
open-minded discussion, acceptance, forgiveness.  People who spent
time to together and took care of each other and did the best they
could to care for the their human families (humankind).  A people who
spoke out agains the violence, cruelty, exploitation, poverty, and
power struggles that exist in this world.  A group of people that
created a value system and lifestyle that was livable.  A people that
made you want to be a better person.  A group where the emphasis is on
how you treat each other and not what you happen to believe at any
particular moment.  A place where you could be sure you would never
(intentionally) become a means to an end.  I think I would call it the
"Kingdom of God".  I knew a group like that once, they are still there but I live too far away now to really have community with them. But life changes,
and people that care about those things are few a far between, and
almost non-existent here.  I'm very lonel these days without a
community. 

I hope this does not discount the kindness that has been shown to me by a select few while I have been here.  Our brief interactions have been the only thing keeping me sane these days.

Southern Seminary straps on another one for their parishioner's pleasure.

This little ditty just in from Southern Seminary. As if the Jerusalem Prayer Team wasn't enough to further the stupification of Christianity. 

Evidently Southern Seminary is having a bit of a change in Curriculum recently.  In an effort to climb to the peak of the bible-idolizing majority the counseling classes have decided that the bible is the only text that is needed to adequately care for their parishioner's counseling issues.  No more are they going to let worldly psychology and/or psychotherapy distort and corrupt what the bible obviously shows us about the Human condition and how to address “the deepest needs of the human heart.”

“In this psycho-therapeutic age, it is really important that we think as Christians,” Mohler said, “that we employ authentically Christian thinking, biblical thinking, to human life, and that we do this in a way that, without apology, confronts and critiques the wisdom of the age and seeks the wisdom that can come only from God and God’s Word.”

Maybe we should start doing this is our medical fields as well.  I mean, being healed is definitely a desire of this human heart (especially if it has blockage in it) so lets throw away our anatomy books and open our bibles to Song of Solomon and start learning the "real stuff" of how to deal with humanity.

“Our churches need pastors and leaders who understand depravity and the Fall to the degree that they are able to see the ways in which fallen human self-interest often masquerades as objective ‘science’—especially when this ‘science’ seeks to explain and prescribe a cure for the fallen condition of humanity,” Russell Moore, dean of Southern’s School of Theology

Yes Yes Yes!  Let's sit people down.  Tell them how rotten and selfish they are.  Tell them how they are going to suffer the wrath of god unless they change their epistemological disposition, quickly, and then tell them how God murdered his own child because he was blood-thirsty and needed a little shed blood to quench his wrathful appetite.  That should fix up em up real good.  Good thinking guys.

  This is part of a larger problem I have with the larger evangelical population.  That of bible worshiping.  To me it is even somewhat blasphemous in that it attempts to kill the creative process full-stop.  But perhaps this is a subject for another time. 

He [Moore] called the new vision “historic and groundbreaking” and predicted its impact would “be felt in congregations throughout the Southern Baptist Convention and the evangelical world.”

I'll definitely second that.  If we didn't have enough neurotic, homophobic, self-hating, sexually frustrated people before, we are sure to now.